


Need You Now

by PriyaxRishabh



Series: We're Broken, not Bent [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PriyaxRishabh/pseuds/PriyaxRishabh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Tony-centric piece set post CA-CW based on a small comic I saw on Tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need You Now

**Author's Note:**

> First time posting, here's hoping you all like it~
> 
> Un beta'd because my friend STILL hasn't gotten up to check it
> 
> Based on: http://chamiryokuroi.tumblr.com/post/144128417611/fixed-it

He keeps the phone in a drawer at first.

  
He can’t work with it out. He can’t work regardless, but at least this way he’s not looking at the phone, tempted to call every time he sees it.

  
“It’s not fair” he thinks to himself as he watches Rhodey relearn to walk all over again, every step a battle on it’s own.

  
“It’s not fair” he thinks to himself as he sees Vision glancing out the window, trying to make sense of the world around him.

  
“It’s not fair” he thinks to himself as he sees the areas where the Avengers used to rest and catch up in between drills and missions, now suddenly void of all sound and life.

  
“It’s not fair” he thinks to himself as he walks around the compound, surrounded by ghosts of the past, taunting him as he tries so hard to understand how he got here.

* * *

  
He leaves the phone behind when he moves.

  
It’s better that he leaves, right? Rhodey… is better off without him. It’s his fault for what happened to Rhodey after all, and his life’s consistently proven that people who he loves either get hurt, die or leave him. Vision’s off exploring the world, to gain perspective and ...it’s better this way. The Avengers are non-existent, it’s easier to just dissolve the organization while attempting to get pardons for his former teammates. He moves to a small workshop north of the city, far enough that he doesn’t have to see anyone, close enough so that he can drive down to visit Peter, the one person he still likes to see these days. He’s such a bright kid, he reminds him of himself half the time, when he comes up with something brilliant, and the other half of the time he reminds him of -.

  
He hasn’t done much outside work these days. It’s easier this way, losing himself in what’s familiar and safe rather than having to think about the betrayal and pain. Dummy, Butterfingers and You may not be people, but at least they’ll never leave him.

* * *

 

He wakes up one morning to find the phone by his bedside table.

  
He stares at it trying to make sense of how it got there, how there’s a blanket draped over him when he just collapsed on his bed the night before. A memory comes to his head, of Tasha asking him if he was alright when his world just started falling apart once again and he let out a choked laugh. As if she really cared. She’d left just like all the others. She was probably snooping for Steve, and dropped off the phone on his request. He stares at the phone and thinks back to the letter it came with...

  
Why would he be so cruel to taunt him with more lies and empty promises? The Avengers were gone, his family was in the winds, and if he couldn’t trust Steve to be honest with him, how the hell could Steve expect him to trust that he’d be there when “he needed him?” He starts hyperventilating and grabs his chest for a second, struggling to regain control while the world shook around him.

  
Every second he sees it is battle against calling him and he can’t, alright? He can’t let Steve know how much he needed him, how much he needs him when Steve clearly didn’t feel the same.

  
“Damn him” he whispers, trying to prevent himself from giving into the tears that threatened to overtake him, “Damn him to hell.”

He takes the phone and chucks it out the window, not giving a damn where it fell.

* * *

He misses JARVIS. He misses being able to talk with someone who he knows truly understands him.

He misses Pepper. He misses fond exasperation, and loyalty, no matter what the odds.

He misses Bruce. He misses long night chats about the things that plague them, the things that only come out when he’s too tired to filter himself, too tired to keep up his daily front with the world.

He misses Rhodey. He misses laughter and a comforting presence that he can bask in.

 

 

  
He misses Steve.

* * *

Laura Barton stops by with the kids. She wants to know if he knows how to get into contact with Clint despite how things ended between them. He recognizes the loneliness in her face, the fear and he looks at the kids, looking up at him, innocent and just missing the father they hadn’t seen for a while. He laughs internally, not like he didn’t wonder about how they would do himself. Of course he knows where he is, Cap’s group has been stationed in Wakanda ever since their breakout, the letter’s irony ever-present given Cap claiming they were more Tony’s than his. He gives her a way of contacting them anyway, and gives them some money just in case, and asks her a favor, to pick up a little girl who’s missing her father as well, because it might be easier with people who are going through the same thing now.

  
Kids should have their parents around, at least ones who actually care for them.

  
Laura understands and thanks him, and leaves to go pick up Cassie Lang. Two mornings later, the phone is there again, on his workshop bench, waiting for him. He picks it up and stares at it, wondering who left it and why. He wonders if Steve would really come if he needed him. He wonders if he’d come because he actually cared.

  
But then again, he’s had that answer already now, didn’t he? Steve probably just asked whoever to leave it there so that Tony could call him when he had no other options (because nothing good lasts, even the bad times will get worse) and that way he’d get to save the day and feel better about everything, and Tony would have to hide it all inside, for everyone else.

  
He sees red. How dare he do this? Hasn’t he done enough? He goes into the woods, gripping the phone so tightly that it might break. He bends back and throws the phone as far as he can. A cry coming unbidden to his lips “FUCK YOU, STEVE!”

* * *

  
Tony dreams. He dreams of being young again, when everything was new and nothing hurt.

He dreams of Jarvis, picking him up and guiding him through life’s earliest steps.

He dreams of Aunt Peggy, stopping by to check up on Tony, and sitting on her lap as she would tell him stories of war, espionage and action.

He dreams of Howard, never quite focused on Tony, but occasionally telling him stories of a man, the greatest man he ever knew.

He dreams of his mother, sitting with him and singing while he played the piano.

 

He dreams of a soft kiss on his cheek and murmured concern.

 

He wakes up to find the phone in his hand, and the scent of a light lingering perfume in the air.

  
He keeps the phone this time. What use is it? Every time he throws it away, it just makes it back to him. If he holds it and closes his eyes to just focusing on breathing once in a while… that’s his business and no one else’s.

* * *

 

  
Peter calls him out of the blue, asking him to meet him in a graveyard. He immediately rushes out, as the panic clear in Peter’s voice, and Tony was worried for the child he’s started to think of, however unwillingly, as one of his own. When he gets there, he sees Peter curled up in front of two graves. He sits down next to him, waiting for Peter to be ready to talk.

  
He talks about missing his parents. He’s never really gotten to know who they were because of the accident, but he still remembers things. His mom’s singing. His dad’s laugh. Family embraces. He remembers birthday trips to Disneyland, going after school to work at the Zoo with his mom. He remembers going to the Captain America exhibit with his dad, and coming home to his mom’s mac and cheese. He talk about how lost he feels at times without them, how guilty he feels about looking at Aunt May at times and thinking “It’s not enough.” He talks about wondering if his parents would be disappointed in him or if they’d be proud with what he’s doing with his life. He asks if it’s alright to hate the driver who caused the accident. He wasn’t drunk, he had a seizure and swerved out of control. Peter leans on Tony and cries, cries because he’s just a boy who misses his parents, and is trying to do the best he can.

When Tony get back, he takes the phone and aims a repulsor blast at it, destroying it to pieces.

* * *

 A week later, a new phone arrives in the mail.

There’s no note attached, but like it needs one, right? He doesn’t know how Steve found out about the old phone, and he doesn’t care. He just want to get rid of it. He throws the phone into a lake, watching it falls into the depths as the light slowly crackled out.

Three days later, he sees a phone dangling from an arrow embedded in the wall.

All the windows are closed and locked from the inside, but somehow, it made it’s way in over night He opens the door and throws the phone onto the street where cars will undoubtedly run over and destroy it. Dad always used to say that Stark men were made of iron but Tony disagrees. He’s made of glass, and he’s about to shatter soon.

* * *

 He wakes to a knock on the door. He stares at the door in shock, no one has been by to see him, not even Tasha in secret, not for the last 2 months. The person knocks on the door again. He asks FRIDAY to ask them to leave, he’s too tired to deal with this, he’s too tired to move. The knocking continues, louder and more insistent. “GO THE FUCK AWAY” He yells, annoyed at the person’s persistence and disregard for his wishes. He just want to be left alone, damn it.

  
The person slams the door the next time, shocking Tony awake, and jump starting his body into a fight or flight response. He stares at the door for a few more seconds as his adrenaline dies down and decides that whoever the hell it is won’t leave until Tony opens the door anyways so he might as well.

He opens the door to a familiar pair of eyes, light blue with flecks of green inside.

  
His throat goes dry. He wasn’t expecting this. His heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest.

He opens his mouth, barely able to formulate his thoughts, because it’s Steve in front of him and god, what does he want, why is he here, why now-  
“Leave.” The words exit Tony’s mouth before he registers them in his brain, ringing in the few feet between them. Steve’s face contorts in pain for a second, before morphing in his resolute face, his face when he’s on a mission as he replies: “No.”  
“Get. Out.’ Tony enunciates as he attempts to slam the door in Steve’s face and Steve instantly stops him, holding the door open and walking inside as Tony takes a few steps back before he carefully, purposefully closes the door.  
Tony doesn’t understand what’s going on. He’s scared, he’s tired, he’s broken down and he just want to be left alone. He…. needs a drink. “What do you want?” he asks, ignoring the wobble in his voice as he stares Steve down the best he can.  
“I…” Steve gulps, his expression shifting to one of hesitation as he looks down “I want to talk.”

  
“A bit late for that now, don’t you think” Tony snorts as he steps away, bile rising in his throat, providing a slow burning sensation in his vocal cords. He turns around and begins to walk , looking for something to drink, something to hold on to, something to get him through this, “I realize that I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry- Damn it, Tony, would it kill you look at me when I’m talking to you!?” Tony jumps at the sound of his shout Steve’s eyes widen when he sees Tony’s reaction and he immediately looks guilty “I’m sorry I raised my voice I just-”

  
Tony cuts him off with a challenging tone to his voice: “It wouldn’t…. But you might.”  
Steve looked at Tony with shock: “Tony.. I wasn’t… I would never-”  
“You would never what? Never keep the truth about my own parents from me for over a year to defend a friend because you thought that I couldn’t be trusted? Would you never ignore anything that I was saying, that 117 countries were saying about needing accountability because they were scared of us? Never leave me alone to deal with the mess that you helped create in front of the world, after proving them right?”  
“Tony, please, listen-”  
“I don’t want to listen, Steve, I want you to get out and leave me the fuck alone!”

  
“I FUCKED UP!” Tony paused in shock of Steve’s usage of language. “ I messed up Tony. I thought I was doing the right thing, for me, for you, for everyone and I messed up. I’ve had months to think about everything, to do nothing but think and I know I messed up. We, but more importantly, I could have handled things better, Tony, I know that now, and I’m sorry, and I know that it might not seem like much, but I am sorry.”

  
Tony stood their in silence, trying to piece together what was happening and Steve took it as a sign to continue: “Tony, I messed up. I thought that I only messed up regarding your parents at first, but then I sat there in Wakanda and thought about it all, about how we got here and then I talked to the others and told them everything and I realized I was wrong. I should’ve talked to you, no matter how difficult it would’ve been about the Accords, about your parents, about everything. I thought that you wouldn’t understand, that you wouldn’t trust me, that you wouldn’t listen, and I was wrong, okay? We could have solved the accords issue, come up with a different plan, and I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I didn’t trust you enough to talk to you, to tell you the truth of what I was feeling.”

  
Tony closed his eyes, feeling his throat closing up as he struggled to process everything Steve was saying.

  
“I didn’t want this. I didn’t want the people I care about to be on the run, I didn’t want you to isolate yourself from the world. I thought giving you space was the best option, to give you time to process everything, but you’ve been running away from everyone and everything and I… I want to make things right. I want to earn back your trust, I want to come up with a plan together, because I’m tired being away from my home with our family divided and I want to fix things with you. I know that it might be impossible, but damn it, I want to try”

  
Steve felt silent and Tony could feel his eyes on him, trying to gauge his reactions. Over 6 months later, Steve had shown up to try to make things right. “It wasn’t all my fault” Tony whispered, a hidden fear making it’s way out of his mouth as his control over his filter frayed by the second. “I don’t have to be alone anymore” he says just a bit louder as he falls to his knees. Choked, maniacal giggles start making their way out of his mouth as he feels tears rolling down his face.  
He felt a hand on his shoulder “Tony….Are you alright?” Steve asked, worry clear in his voice.

  
Tony barked out a laugh at that, as if the answer wasn’t obvious to the world.

  
“Nothing’s...Nothing’s alright!” he gasped out before dissolving into a shaking fit, biting his lip to try and muffle the sounds of his sobbing, as he finally let everything fall and hit him at once. Steve got on his knees and pulled Tony into his chest, laying his head on top of Tony’s and holding him tight. He felt Steve’s lips again his head whispering into his hair “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry” on repeat as he rocked him. Tony felt tears hitting the back of his neck as he gave into the physical contact/relief that Steve was offering him and let himself go.

 

 

  
“I can’t do this alone, Steve. I need you here with me. Please don’t leave me alone again."

 

  
“I won’t. I’ll stay. I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments/Constructive Criticism all appreciated!
> 
> You can find me over on Tumblr at priyasfinalfantasy.tumblr.com  
>  
> 
> I would love to continue this if people like it, possibly Steve's side to all this and a third chapter of them figuring everything out, but that's only if people actually... like the fic and it's not complete shit which it very well maybe, I'm not a strong writer.


End file.
